A few years ago, Shattered Glass Ravage was this new thing and I'd been asked to write a short tech spec bio for him to be published in the Transformers Collectors' Club magazine.  This was before he got a toy.  Until then, he was just a guy I'd made up over New Years Eve and then started a Twitter feed for because it amused me and because I thought it heretical that there was no SG version of Ravage because Ravage is awesome.  In the following issues, the Transformers club folks asked me to write additional bios for SG Ratbat and Steeljaw.

Normal Ratbat, to me, is the stick-up-his-ass fuel auditor who hilariously managed to worm his way into the Decepticon leadership position in the Marvel Comics.  Everyone hated him.  He was an accountant!  And yet, y'know, an accountant is an important job.  And so my idea was to flip that.  What's a charismatic but completely frivolous job?  Why, SG Ratbat was a self-help guru.  A famous one who everyone liked.  He was a celebrity.  He was a secret alcoholic (addiction to low-grade fuel).  I really liked the idea.

But then it kind of got blown away by Jesse Wittenrich's accompanying art for the character, which I hadn't seen prior to getting the issue myself, of SG Ratbat done up in blue and gray and gold, y'know, for funsies.    And I was like, whoa.  Obviously, SG Ratbat is... you know who.  What's this self-help guru crap?   And so once I started drawing Recordicons, I made sure to marry the two portrayals.  During the day, Ratbat was a famous philanthropist and author, but at night he patrolled the city skies as Bat-Bot.  I literally couldn't pass up drawing that stuff.  You know me.

And so here we are, years later, and we have a damn toy of him.  E-Hobby, Japan's outlet for exclusive redecos of Transformers stuffs, likes to come out with new-character redecoes of Generation 1 reissues, and they'd just done a pair of Twincast and Soundblaster.  So who do they do those two guys as?  Apparently, the answer is to partner up with the Transformers Collectors' Club and give us SG Blaster and Soundwave and a smattering of SG Recordicons, including Ratbat in his Bat-Bot colors.

These are toys for me and me alone.

So here's my friggin' Transformers Caped Crusader guy, in plastic, here in front of me, for realsies.  A neat addition to SG Bat-Bot's look are the chest stickers they give you which paste on either side of SG Bat-Bot's chest rubsign, which pushes the homage a little further.  I liked it so much I retooled SG Bat-Bot's design to include the stickers in his next Recordicons appearance.  You do gotta be careful with them, though.  They cover the tape spools in his chest, and the gun accessories you peg through there could poke through them a bit if you're not precise.  Oh, and always put him back in the cassette tray stickers-face-up so you don't puncture them.

Did I mention he appears in a comic illustrated by Hidetsugu Yoshioka?  My character, this guy I helped make, drawn by him?  Oh my lord, man.  This world is nuts.

Since Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo's Batman is like the greatest thing ever, I've been hankering for a toy of Batman's "new 52" design.  Yeah, the one with all the extra lines.  But the DC Direct version sure wasn't gonna be it.  That thing is a lean Jim Lee statuette.  I wanted something a little closer to Greg Capullo's slightly more stocky take on Batman.  ...And probably something that has more than a handful of very shallow points of articulation.

And so I snagged myself Mattel's version.  It is much nicer in nearly every single way than the DC Direct one would have been, though it's in no way a perfect Batman toy.  My old "perfect" Batman six inch figure, the one from Public Enemies (seen being punched above), still has some advantages over it.  Namely... man, I know I am biased towards the cartoonish, but I still feel strongly that superheroes are way pinheaded most of the time, and it rubs me the wrong way.  And so Mattel's New 52 Batman's tiny head looks a little hilarious.  I thought maybe I could swap heads between the two, but after pulling on either head for a little bit, I was too apprehensive of breaking something, and so I let them be.

I just want a large cartoonish jaw, is that so wrong?  Also, I'm a big fan of the pouch-style belt versus the new belt-belt, but whatevs.   And I do wish there were a toy that were more faithful to Greg Capullo's art style.  I'd squee.

Anyway, where the hell are my Court of Owls toys?

MattyCollector's started putting the last few remaining JLU three-packs up in their store!  Y'know, the ones that were gonna be at retail, but Young Justice toys kind of swooped in and took their spot on the pegs, and also nobody was buying JLU anyway, and then nobody bought Young Justice either.  And so you're gonna be paying online exclusive markup for them, but I find that preferable to the alternative of NOT GETTING VANDAL SAVAGE OH MY GOD GIVE HIM TO ME.

The first set released was Batman/Mongul/Wonder Woman.  Obviously, you're buying this one for Mongul.  At least he's a 100% new sculpt to make up for the repeat WW/Batman guys.  (Again, these were supposed to be at retail, which is why those two are in there.)  The JLU new sculpts are always fantastic, and Mongul is no exception.  These toys really shine when they're sharp and individualized rather than being a decades-old Superman body with a new head.  And so Mongul's great.  And sufficiently huge.

I can't say all that much about Mongul himself.  He was in a really boring episode about a gladiator pit planet, and I tend to skip over that one a lot when I watch through my JLU DVDs.  No, Mongul got lucky by being written into Alan Moore's "For the Man Who Has Everything," which everyone loves and was then made into an episode of the JLU cartoon.  And I feel a little off by saying that, yeah, that episode is why Mongul is awesome, when really it could have been anygoddamnedbody in his role in that story and nothing would have changed.  Well, any of the 30 different outer space dictator dudes the Justice League fights, anyway.  Jervis Tetch (aka the Mad Hatter) pulled off a similar scheme in "Perchance to Dream," but I doubt he could have held off Wonder Woman.

I'm just saying, there's not a lot to Mongul.  He's the guy you go to when Darkseid and Despero are busy.

UPDATE: Decided to watch rewatch Mongul's episodes, and I hadn't noticed before that he had a character model tweak, probably because "War World" parts 1 and 2 put me to sleep.  When he shows up again in "For the Man Who Has Everything," he's a darker purple, some of his silver has been changed to black, and his hat is now purple.  He's also drawn a whole lot better, but that may have just been the animation studio.  Anyway, the toy is of his appearance from the Good Episode.  Surprise!

I didn't know or care where it was "from," just that it was a frigging awesome 6"-scale rainbow pegasus unicorn, and that not only must I own it, but Batman must ride it.  Apparently it's a She-Ra thing!  I wouldn't know.  My mom cut me off He-Man for being anti-Jesus-Having-All-The-Power long before any spin-offs could happen.  But this, I would have it.

I wasn't sure I could justify dropping $33 plus shipping on a sudden whim.  So some readers on Twitter helped me out and bought some stuff from my store to give me an incentive to purchase the thing.  And so I totes did.

It's huge.  I mean, I know horses are pretty big, but this thing is, regardless, substantial.  There's a surprising amount of articulation -- the neck turns around in various directions and even the tail is a ratcheted balljoint.  The wings are removable, which is good, because I have to take one of them off to fit the thing on a shelf.

You know.

My Batman shelf.

Hey, Shortpacked! Book 4 is now available for purchase in the store!

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I got my JLU 7-pack in the mail today, signifying the end of that toyline.  Which means it’s time to finally take stock of all of the duplicate Batmen, Supermen, and whoevers that I amassed in the past decade in the quest to get dudes they were packed with.

When I am done, I plan to just sell them all on eBay for probably five dollars. In the meantime, some preliminary photography.  For example:

1) Man, I am surprised I can only find one extra Martian Manhunter.  Clearly I must have more somewhere!  Did I really only ever end up with just one extra of him?  It seems impossible.

2) My original bin of extras was packed in SUPER TIGHT.  Like, creating-diamonds-out-of-coal-tight.  Related to this tidbit is an observation on how soft and goopy Giganta’s dress is.  Whoops.

2a) (Not entirely limited to Giganta’s dress.  I had one Superman’s cape embedded in the neck of another.)

3) Woo, “I can breathe in space” Batman!

4) Woo, “Atmosphere-destroying missile” Superman!

5) A sweet ass Scuba Flash.  I have a whole team of scuba guys, probably came with an Aquaman, but Flash is the sharpest of those.

There's a chance there might be more JLU stuff, but only because some of their 3-packs (*coughcoughcoughVandalSavagecoughcough*) never made it to retail and Matty's hinted at maybe offering those online maybe.  Maybe.

But meh.  It happens, it happens.  Stick a fork in this toyline.

I was surprised I ended up liking Damian Wayne so much.  "The bratty son of Bruce Wayne and Talia Head" isn't really a character pitch that grabbed me.  But after these past few years he's really grown on me.

Part of that, though, I insist, is because he isn't paired with Bruce Wayne as Batman.  Batman's cranky, Damian's cranky... it's not a very diverse duo.  But when Dick Grayson is Batman, that's where I saw how Damian Wayne worked as a character.  Dick Grayson's a happier, more social Batman.  That's a good foil for Damian, the little brat with a (very buried) heart of gold.  But Dick doesn't get to be Batman anymore, and after the Flashpoint reboot, Bruce is going to be Batman to Damian's Robin.  It's nice that Damian's staying around, but I think pairing him with his dad sort of misses the point.  I hope I'm proved wrong.

But seriously, where's my damn Dick Grayson Batman toy?  I am kind of annoyed.  Instead, this DC Direct Damian Wayne comes in a wave with back-from-the-dead Bruce.  Dick is totally skipped over!  Grargh.   I snatched up Damian anyway, though, not only for myself, but because my wife thinks he's great.  Only with Dick, of course.

The toy is a standard DC Direct figure.  There's some minor articulation, a stand, and some accessories.  Damian looks a little older than 11, though.  I kind of wish he had an alternate head possibility with his hood over his head.  I kind of like the hood over his head.

Anyway, in conclusion, this is required reading.

Hello, everyone! I'm sitting in SFO airport, where I'll remain until 10:30 tonight. I had a really great time at Wondercon this weekend!

Yesterday (Sunday) was my birthday. I turned 32! It was a weird birthday for me, what with me being at a convention instead of lounging around at home taking it easy. Not that most of my days are grueling fights to the finish anyway, being a webcartoonist, but you know what I mean. I was a little apprehensive blowing my birthday weekend at a convention since my birthdays have a Routine. They've always had a Routine. They're not a difficult Routine, I mean, they usually involve leaving the house for Taco Bell at some point, watching a movie I like, and drawing a comic, all things I enjoy. Even back when I had a Real Job, I had a semblance of the Routine, albeit smooshed into a smaller portion of the day. But this year I wouldn't have the Routine! I would be "stuck" behind a table in a strange city far away from my home.

This was a good idea! It was a very different birthday. I got to spend it with a very, very different group than I would have otherwise, like the Blind Ferret folks, Kel McDonald, Becky and Frank, Matt Boyd, Alina Pete, George Rohac... the list goes on. And since this was one of a half-dozen weekends of the year in which I am inexplicably a celebrity, it was really amazing. Folks kept on throwing cookies and cakes at me. I amassed so many baked goods that I still have some stuffed inside my backpack on my way home.

The only sore spot is that my wife wasn't here! She did happily end up on the phone with me on Saturday night when I got sung "Happy Birthday" to for the first time, which was incredibly fortunate, but she wasn't with me, which bothered me. We've only lived together for a few years! She was not yet a firmly established part of the Routine. I kind of want her to be part of the Routine forever. This was a misstep.

But enough of my #FirstWorldProblems. Since I had an extra day to goof around (I booked my flight waaaaay too late to get out of San Francisco at a reasonable time), I made sure to walk around the city for hours and hours and take lots of photos so I can use them as reference in the strip. After doing Dumbing of Age for over half a year (is that right? Over half a year? My brain is probably fried, so please check my math), I've grown a passion for making the environments more real. So look for that. I might even put my characters outside sometimes! Oh my God!

And look for a new character soon. That is all.

Jesus Christ, I have a buttload of Mattel to talk about.  I found the most recent wave of retail JLU on my way out of Columbus to C2E2, I got three more JLU sets at the con itself, and when I got home I had Ghostbusters Louis Tully.  Oh, right, and I got Action League Batman/Joker the day before I left.  Will have to get around to that some time.

Let's start with the Gray Ghost 3-pack set, then, I guess?

Hey, it's the Gray Ghost!  When Batman was a kid, he was super fanboy for the Gray Ghost.  The Gray Ghost was like his Power Rangers. But then Batman's parents died, Batman became Batman, and then Batman met the aging actor who played the Gray Ghost and got really pissed off that the aging actor who played the Gray Ghost won't put on a costume and fight real crime.  Batman, you are the world's greatest detective.  Why are you so dumb?

Also, there was lots of the actor who played the Gray Ghost throwing furniture around as the musical score pleasured itself.

The toy of the Gray Ghost is of the aging actor in the Gray Ghost costume, not the actual Gray Ghost, which is fine by me.  The latter is fictional, and so would look kind of weird standing in my display.  (You know what I mean!)  What's weird is that the Gray Ghost appears to be completely bald.  There's no paint for his hair behind his ears.  I remember the actor having thinning hair, not Lex Luthoring it.  Ah well.  Who's gonna be staring at the back of his head anyway.

It looks to me like Gray Ghost's got a new head, torso, and cape.  The rest is probably The Question or something.

The rest of the three-pack is filled out with character reuses, but that's fine by me.  There's the requisite Batman, and he's the JLU toy decoed like the Batman: The Animated Series design.  It works well enough despite having the wrong belt.  I like that the inside of his cape is blue.

The third guy is the Joker, because why the hell not.  Fitting in with the BTAS theme, this is the JLU Joker toy decoed like BTAS Joker.  This interested me more than I thought it would.  I mean, I definitely prefer my JLU Joker, but it tickles my brain in the right areas to see that toy done up in an earlier model's colors.  The purple suit's a smidge bluer, he's got the orange shirt, and his bowtie is teal.  With the hair being a dark green and his face painted up just a little differently, he passes off as BTAS Joker pretty damn well.  JLU Joker is just BTAS Joker with sharper lines anyway.  He's certainly a better BTAS Joker toy than any of the original BTAS Joker toys, but that's what 20 years of sculpting advances will tend to do.

That's right.  Twenty.

I needed Bane because he fills an important slot in both of the arenas of DCUC I'm collecting: Batman villains and Secret Six dudes.  So far, there's been a 100% overlap!  It's a really uninteresting Venn diagram so far.  ...well, okay, I didn't pick up Parademon, but he really didn't look, y'know, proper.  Needed to be beefier and wear a fluffy vest or something.

If I ever do get a respectable Secret Six display, Bane may have to go through some minor changes.  See, in Secret Six, Bane has been off the Venom for quite a while, as he's decided it's a weakness and a crutch.  In fact, Bane is a very interesting character all around in Secret Six.  This should not really be possible, since he should be, by all rights, no more than that goofy muscle guy in the luchador mask who breaks Batman's back over his knee.  But under the insanely awesome care of Gail Simone, Bane is a compelling character in his own right.  Kinda weird in the head, but fascinating nonetheless.  And so I might have to get rid of that Venom tube that runs from his head to his arm.  It just wouldn't be proper!

But, hey.  Let's not delude ourselves.

I know why you're all here.  I know what the money shot is.

Let's do this.

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