I have no idea where most of my old Star Wars Transformers are. Maybe I gave them to my friend Ron a few years ago? All I know is sometimes I give Ron stuff and I searched my entire basement and only found my Death Star Darth Vader and an AT-AT Snowtrooper. I wanted to find my Imperial Shuttle Emperor "Sheev" Palpatine, but I did not, nor did I find my X-Wing Luke or my TIE Advanced Darth Vader.
But me not finding my Imperial Shuttle Emperor "Sheev" Palpatine left me open to buying a replacement! See, I had the original white/gray Imperial Shuttle version. At the veeeeeeeeeeery end of the line, they did a redeco in black. A, uh, stealth Imperial Shuttle, if you will. Or, more valuably, a robot Emperor that's in the Emperor's colors. That redeco barely came out. It was not really seen many places. But I managed to find one for Not Bad on eBay, and now I have a relatively scarce Sheev Transformer.
Oh, god, I'd forgotten how bad these things were. Like, I was kinda "yeah okay" about the new TakaraTomy TIE Advanced Darth Vader, but having this old Sheev toy again really puts that toy in perspective. I can see why I may have given my original to Ron.
I mean, I still want this newer version. It's Emperor Palpatine. He's the best Star Wars character. Well, okay, his chair is the best Star Wars character, but he gets to sit in it. And I can't not have an Emperor Palpatine Transformer if there's an Emperor Palpatine Transformer to be had. Sheev is the shit, yo.
And this Sheev toy is just shit.
Yeah, this toy is not great. During transformation, you remove all of the wings, and you reattach them elsewhere... dumbly. Like, it's not really the positioning, though it is also kind of the positioning, but it is mostly the methods used to attach the pieces. Tiny, tiny clips and/or barely perceptible hinge bumps. And the instructions are no help. They're like, okay, now, you take these wings, and you put them on his hips. On his hips HOW? And then you try all manner of "okay let's try putting these wings on his hips and see if they stay" and they don't, ever, until you see tiny, tiny, TINY shallow little bumps on the wings and I guess that is how it's done. Whoof.
The middle wing becomes a shield.
The base of the middle wing becomes a springloaded missile launcher. The missile is the lightsaber. That is a little bit awesome.
And, like, the wings aren't even stable. They have more joints than are needed and it's difficult for them to hold in place in either of the two positions -- flying or parked. It's barely even a good Imperial Shuttle toy.
The robot has a problem standing because even though the feet have flip-down heels, the heels, like, don't click in place and also they're incredibly loose. So, like, good job.
Maybe the point of this toy is to make your anger so great that you succumb to the Dark Side. It's working!
But yeah. My new Darth has a Sheev. I figure... it will be a while, if ever, before TakaraTomy gets to making their own Emperor Palpatine toy. Like, they haven't announced a third figure yet, so it's distinctly possible Darth Vader and the Millennium Falcon are it. And if there are more, I can't imagine the Emperor is far up on that list. I mean, like, a Luke, right? A Luke or even a goddamned Slave-1/Boba Fett.
Worse comes to worst, long from now, I'll have to buy a new Emperor Palpatine Transformer and have two Emperor Palpatine Transformers. Oh no!